As I type and post blogs for ENG099 class, I see a significant difference. From the time I begin this class all the way to the end, I can clearly tell that my writing has improved. It is very helpful for the world to view my public writing and give wise feedback on to how to improve my essay. From writing before and from writing now, I can focus more when I write my essay. My concentration is 100%, versus the concentration from before. From that much focus, my essays have improved. As a matter a fact, I am surprised how my grammar improved. I used to have plenty of problems with my grammar; it was hard for teachers to comprehend my essay. After that, no drawbacks.
As a writer, I see myself as a person who is imperfect. In my opinion, no one can be perfect at everything. There are always failures. There will always be a time when you fall flat on your face. The challenge now is to get back up. That is how I can explain myself as a writer. It can be very easy to quit. However, I am not one of these quitters. As many bruises as I have, I can take them. Even if it means dragging on one leg. I focus, I concentrate and in the end when I do succeed, I'll be proud of myself because I've worked hard for it. As for my weaknesses; my grammar and punctuation has improved, however sometimes my sentences aren't very specific. Specific detail helps the reader understand your writing.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Blog 7: Revision of CATW exam, Practice 2
The passage adapted from, "The Woman Who Died in the Waiting Room", by Jeneen Interlandi explains how a 49-year old woman(Esmin Green) died in just 20 minutes later in the largest psychiatric hospital, after the nurse checked on her in 40 minutes. It begins with Esmin Green, twisting between two chairs under a security camera for twenty minutes, with two security guards not even bothering to help her. Poor patients with psychiatric problems have less medical care in public hospitals. Instead of locking the mentally ill away to uncaring institutions, the mentally ill were offered a place in society, out of thought. I agree with the statement that, "They are the poor, the uninsured and the undocumented."
There are times when many patients are ignored, due to health insurance, wealth of class, or both. I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing. It happens almost all of the time. You sign in, a nurse makes you wait in the emergency room and you wait nearly forever in the waiting room untill you are half dead, whether mental or not. One time, I was rushed to the emergency room from rash.. I was in fifth grade at P.S 163 Alfred E. Smith, in the Upper West Side. I was ten years old at the time. The rash began after eating a fish sandwich. I did not realize the condition untill after recess, when my neck was very ichy and I went to the bathroom, realizing at the mirror that my neck was swollen and bumpy. I remember that I had to be dismissed early from LEAP afterschool program, because the condition of the rash worsened. My parents drove me to Mt. Sinai hospital, in the Upper East Side. My mother checked me in at nine o' clock at night. A nurse did not come in untill three o' clock in the morning. At that time, the rash nearly spread my entire body. The only part that the rash did not spread was my face. What the doctor gave me was Benadrill, a medicine used for allergic reactions, something that can be buyed at the pharmacy in five minutes. My parents were angry about this, because what they waited six hours for was something in which my parents would of buyed for me at the pharmacy, and I would be cured instantly. This is why I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, because why have hospitals, if you would not be treated the same way as the wealthy would? It is wrong and unfair. My situation is not a mental sickness, but I can understand how it feels like compared to Esmin Green.
People who are not wealthy would have to go through the waiting room in hospitals. Not only that, at times, for those who may not have health care insurance, it would be more difficult for them to be treated. For hospitals in America, it's, no insurance, no good treatment. Even for the mentally ill and poor, it's bad how treatment is judged by how much money you have in your account. Not only is it bad, but very sad that you cannot depend on public hospials in America.
There are times when many patients are ignored, due to health insurance, wealth of class, or both. I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing. It happens almost all of the time. You sign in, a nurse makes you wait in the emergency room and you wait nearly forever in the waiting room untill you are half dead, whether mental or not. One time, I was rushed to the emergency room from rash.. I was in fifth grade at P.S 163 Alfred E. Smith, in the Upper West Side. I was ten years old at the time. The rash began after eating a fish sandwich. I did not realize the condition untill after recess, when my neck was very ichy and I went to the bathroom, realizing at the mirror that my neck was swollen and bumpy. I remember that I had to be dismissed early from LEAP afterschool program, because the condition of the rash worsened. My parents drove me to Mt. Sinai hospital, in the Upper East Side. My mother checked me in at nine o' clock at night. A nurse did not come in untill three o' clock in the morning. At that time, the rash nearly spread my entire body. The only part that the rash did not spread was my face. What the doctor gave me was Benadrill, a medicine used for allergic reactions, something that can be buyed at the pharmacy in five minutes. My parents were angry about this, because what they waited six hours for was something in which my parents would of buyed for me at the pharmacy, and I would be cured instantly. This is why I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, because why have hospitals, if you would not be treated the same way as the wealthy would? It is wrong and unfair. My situation is not a mental sickness, but I can understand how it feels like compared to Esmin Green.
People who are not wealthy would have to go through the waiting room in hospitals. Not only that, at times, for those who may not have health care insurance, it would be more difficult for them to be treated. For hospitals in America, it's, no insurance, no good treatment. Even for the mentally ill and poor, it's bad how treatment is judged by how much money you have in your account. Not only is it bad, but very sad that you cannot depend on public hospials in America.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Blog 6: Personal Directions for CATW
On the day of the exam, I will not panic. I know exactly the rules of the exam like butter, I just need to stay calm and focused. The day that I first recieve the exam, I would read the passage carefully, twice. The second time, I would carefully underline the main idea and the key points, supporting the main idea. After, I would begin summarizing, by first introducing where the passage is adapted from, or title, and summarizing the main idea and the supporting ideas, leaving out any secondary details. Then, I would write my thesis, with materials supporting my thesis. My thesis would specifically agree or disagree with the passage. The first paragraph is just writing the title and/ or author ( If there is one.), summarize the main idea and key points, and agree/disagree with the topic, using a significant idea. For the second paragraph, I would brainstorm before I begin writing, because the first thing I think about are good examples to support my thesis. Then I would freewrite, edit, and begin writing my second and third paragraph. Other techniques for writing are prewiting, outline and clustering. In my second and third paragraphs, I would begin with an opening sentence. A way to write my examples would be downshifting. Another way, depending if I would write a story, or write in first person or thrid person, would be narrative. After my two paragraphs, would be my conclusion. I would make sure to reread my essay a couple of times, making corrections and/or changes, so that I can help my reader follow my thinking. I will also make sure to bring plenty of pens, and a paper dictionary for any unusual words.
What is most important that I would have to look out for on the day of the exam is timing. I do tend to freeze when it goes to how I am going to write, and I do need to avoid that as best as I can. I also need to be careful with grammar and punctuation. I do know what I have to write; the problem is how am I going to write it? Another thing is missing the supporting ideas. This happens to me most of the time. I need to look out for that, because that is the first thing the reader will be looking for. It is important that the main points are there, otherwise, the reader would make an assumption that the writer does not understand the topic. I also become exeremely nervous on the day of the exam.
What I would do to avoid freezing, is to freewrite. When I freewrite, it helps me bring out my ideas, and all I can do is edit afterword. For the passage, I would have to take my time to read it carefully and think about it; is this really part of the main ideas? I do plan to bring a watch on the day of the exam to time myself. Also, the most important of the most important; I need to not panic and focus on the exam. I would also advise myself to reread my essay carefully. Am I sure that my grammar and punctuation are fixed carefully?
What is most important that I would have to look out for on the day of the exam is timing. I do tend to freeze when it goes to how I am going to write, and I do need to avoid that as best as I can. I also need to be careful with grammar and punctuation. I do know what I have to write; the problem is how am I going to write it? Another thing is missing the supporting ideas. This happens to me most of the time. I need to look out for that, because that is the first thing the reader will be looking for. It is important that the main points are there, otherwise, the reader would make an assumption that the writer does not understand the topic. I also become exeremely nervous on the day of the exam.
What I would do to avoid freezing, is to freewrite. When I freewrite, it helps me bring out my ideas, and all I can do is edit afterword. For the passage, I would have to take my time to read it carefully and think about it; is this really part of the main ideas? I do plan to bring a watch on the day of the exam to time myself. Also, the most important of the most important; I need to not panic and focus on the exam. I would also advise myself to reread my essay carefully. Am I sure that my grammar and punctuation are fixed carefully?
Friday, November 11, 2011
Practice 3 of CATW exam
The passage "Is Music a Good Tool for Health?", adapted from "How and Why Is Music a Good Tool For Health" by Elizabeth Scott, explains how music relaxes the mind and relieves stress. Hospitals begin to use music therapy to calm patients and relieve muscle tension. Music can bring lasting benefits to your mind. The fact that music and music therapy not only relaxes your mind but also helps on your health is agreeable at its face.
Usually when you turn on the radio station to Z100 or Hot97, certain songs play based on genre. Of course, every person has a different taste for music. By that different taste, the person is relaxed by the music. It is also true that by playing a song you do remember how the song goes. While listening to the song, it either calms your mind or helps you focus more. Some people study with music, because the sound of silence would be a distraction to them. Others listen to music to stay away from stress they have to deal with in daily life. Without music, it would probably be a lifeless world.
I don't know if everyone has ever gone to theatrical shows, but I've gone to one before. One of the most memorable shows I have gone to was The Lion King. What was significant about The Lion King was not only the art of the puppets, but the art of music being played. The drums used in most of the songs excite me, it causes me to focus more on what will happen on the next scene of the play because of the music. My favorite song was The Circle of Life. The song is played twice, at the very beginning and at the very end. The way the ensemble sing the song brings a beautiful harmony to my mind. When the song ends, it ends with a heavy drum beat, so loud that I can feel it through the beat of my heart. Using music for theatre also brings a certain calm out of excitment.
Music helps relax your mind, and relieves stress. It's very heloful for almost everything. Music is everywhere. Music is heard inside stores, cars, movies and any other place that music would be reasonable to appear.
Usually when you turn on the radio station to Z100 or Hot97, certain songs play based on genre. Of course, every person has a different taste for music. By that different taste, the person is relaxed by the music. It is also true that by playing a song you do remember how the song goes. While listening to the song, it either calms your mind or helps you focus more. Some people study with music, because the sound of silence would be a distraction to them. Others listen to music to stay away from stress they have to deal with in daily life. Without music, it would probably be a lifeless world.
I don't know if everyone has ever gone to theatrical shows, but I've gone to one before. One of the most memorable shows I have gone to was The Lion King. What was significant about The Lion King was not only the art of the puppets, but the art of music being played. The drums used in most of the songs excite me, it causes me to focus more on what will happen on the next scene of the play because of the music. My favorite song was The Circle of Life. The song is played twice, at the very beginning and at the very end. The way the ensemble sing the song brings a beautiful harmony to my mind. When the song ends, it ends with a heavy drum beat, so loud that I can feel it through the beat of my heart. Using music for theatre also brings a certain calm out of excitment.
Music helps relax your mind, and relieves stress. It's very heloful for almost everything. Music is everywhere. Music is heard inside stores, cars, movies and any other place that music would be reasonable to appear.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Blog 5: Gone Baby Gone
The movie "Gone Baby Gone", is about a detective (Patrick) investigating on the abduction of Amanda. As he continues to investigate with his partner, Angie, the investigation led to Amanda's death. Discovered that Amanda's death was fake, he found out that Captian Doyle abducted her because she was not being taken care of by her mother, Helene. Patrick was stuck between keeping the abduction a secret, and bring the child back to his mother. Patrick choose to to send Amanda back to Helene. On Lionel's side, Captain Doyle believed that Amanda had to be taken away because Helene wasn't taking care of her. Lionel was telling Patrick a story of when Helene left Amanda in the car, and how she was roasted. Another thing is that Helene is a drug addict. In Lionel's point of view, for Amanda to be raised by a drug addict would not come out good for her. Which is why they find that it was the right thing to take Amanda away from Helene, because it would be for the better.
The other side believed that no matter how imperfect a person may be, no one has a right to interfere in their life. Even though Helene didn't seem to care about Amanda, she still believed that she should keep her child. She doesn't pay attention to Amanda, but when she was abducted, she began to panic. She realized that her child was missing and she made a promise to Patrick that he would bring her back. In the end, Patrick did keep her promise and Helene was the same person as before.
The movie really takes the side of returning Amanda back to her mother because it was a bad consequence, but the right decision. It was the right decision because, no one would of liked it if they had a child and it was taken away from them. Just like Helene, the parent would be frightened and angry about the abductor. Basically saying, no one has a right to take ones child away, no matter how bad the parent may be. Everybody was mad at Patrick in the end, but he was responsible for taking care of Amanda because Helene was not paying attention to her.
The other side believed that no matter how imperfect a person may be, no one has a right to interfere in their life. Even though Helene didn't seem to care about Amanda, she still believed that she should keep her child. She doesn't pay attention to Amanda, but when she was abducted, she began to panic. She realized that her child was missing and she made a promise to Patrick that he would bring her back. In the end, Patrick did keep her promise and Helene was the same person as before.
The movie really takes the side of returning Amanda back to her mother because it was a bad consequence, but the right decision. It was the right decision because, no one would of liked it if they had a child and it was taken away from them. Just like Helene, the parent would be frightened and angry about the abductor. Basically saying, no one has a right to take ones child away, no matter how bad the parent may be. Everybody was mad at Patrick in the end, but he was responsible for taking care of Amanda because Helene was not paying attention to her.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
CATW Practice 2
The passage adapted from, "The Woman Who Died in the Waiting Room", by Jeen Interlandi explains how a 49-year old woman(Esmin Green) died in just 20 minutes later, after the nurse checked on her in 40 minutes. Jeneen explains how patients with psychiatric problems get less attention than others. I agree with the statement that, "Public hospitals across the country have struggled to provide acute psychiatric cqare to the uninsurwed since the early 1960's, when large mental hospitals began closing theor doors en masse."
There are times when many patients are ignored, due to health ionsurance, or wealth of class. I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, the more I think about it. It happens almost all of the time, when you sign in, and sits you aside to wait nearly forever in the waiting room, whether mental problem or not. I remember when I was rushed to the emergency room from rash. It was from eating a fillet-o-fish from the school cafeteria. I was in fifith grade in elemantary school at the time, in the Upper West Side. I was ten years old at the time. I remember that I had to be diosmissed early from the LEAP afterschool program, because the condition became worse. At home, my parents tried to soak me in an oatmeal bathtub, so that probably, the rash can heakl. Instead, the rash worsened even more, and my parents rushed me to the emergency room, at a hospital in the Upper East Side. My mother checked me in at nine o' clock at night. A nurse did not come in untill three o' clock in the morning. At that time, the rash nearly spread my body. the only part that the rash did not spread was my face. What the doctor gave me was Benadrill, a medicine used for allergic reactions. my parents were angry about this, because what they waited six hours for was something in which my parents would of buyed for me at the pharmacy, and I would be cured in twenty minutes. This is why I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, because why have hospitals, if you would not be treated the same way as the wealthy would? It is just wrong and unfair. My situatiopn is not a mental sickness, but I can understand how it feels like compared to Esmin Green.
People who are not wealthy would have to go through the waiting room in hospitals. Not only that, at times, for those who may not have health care insurance, it would be more difficult for them to be treated. For hospitals in America, it's, no insurance, no good treatment. Even for the mentally ill and poor, it's bad how treatment is judged by how much money you have in your account. Not only is it bad, but very sad as well.
There are times when many patients are ignored, due to health ionsurance, or wealth of class. I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, the more I think about it. It happens almost all of the time, when you sign in, and sits you aside to wait nearly forever in the waiting room, whether mental problem or not. I remember when I was rushed to the emergency room from rash. It was from eating a fillet-o-fish from the school cafeteria. I was in fifith grade in elemantary school at the time, in the Upper West Side. I was ten years old at the time. I remember that I had to be diosmissed early from the LEAP afterschool program, because the condition became worse. At home, my parents tried to soak me in an oatmeal bathtub, so that probably, the rash can heakl. Instead, the rash worsened even more, and my parents rushed me to the emergency room, at a hospital in the Upper East Side. My mother checked me in at nine o' clock at night. A nurse did not come in untill three o' clock in the morning. At that time, the rash nearly spread my body. the only part that the rash did not spread was my face. What the doctor gave me was Benadrill, a medicine used for allergic reactions. my parents were angry about this, because what they waited six hours for was something in which my parents would of buyed for me at the pharmacy, and I would be cured in twenty minutes. This is why I find the death of Esmin Green disturbing, because why have hospitals, if you would not be treated the same way as the wealthy would? It is just wrong and unfair. My situatiopn is not a mental sickness, but I can understand how it feels like compared to Esmin Green.
People who are not wealthy would have to go through the waiting room in hospitals. Not only that, at times, for those who may not have health care insurance, it would be more difficult for them to be treated. For hospitals in America, it's, no insurance, no good treatment. Even for the mentally ill and poor, it's bad how treatment is judged by how much money you have in your account. Not only is it bad, but very sad as well.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Revision of CATW 1
In, "An Education in Citizenship", distrubuted in Chicago Tribune, the author explains how citizens are illegally paying in-state tuition, that of those who are born outside of the United States. The author argues how citizens can pay for in-state, while the law states that it is for those who are born outside of the United States that are able to pay in-state tuition. I agree with the statement that, "The notion that someone can have no legal right to a country, but be entitiled to a very expensive and valuable benefit of citizenship is absurd on its face."
Paying for college isn't easy. Especially for being in a community college, it is not easy to pay college bills. Even if one has financial aid, one would have to pay in return. If you have not known, paying for college outside the state costs double for when paying in-state.To pay double for a college out of the state and born here would be unfair. It's part of the law, but for other people to pay less, and born outside of the country is not right. I am friends with many people who are in the povery line. A close friend of mine, Naiyima, had to use Pell Grants. Pell Grants is when the college pays for your tuition, due to the low income tax. The reason why she had to pay Pell Grants is because she cannot afford paying tuition, even though she is going to a cheap CUNY Community College. A huge population of citizens are in the poverty line. As a matter a fact, the number of minorities in the United States is a very huge number.
Some people cannot afford paying tuition, and yet, would do everything in their power to go to college, improve their eductaion, and improve their skills. In this generation, life is becoming more difficult everyday. At the same time, prices rise everyday. For the wealthy I would understand, but what about the working class? The working class works for hours, trying to pay bills. . Especially for me, I am a working class person. I find it very hard to pay bills. I do not work in a job which pays me maximum wage. I wish I could get a job like that, but I clearly know that in reality, it is impossible. Paying out-state tuition when you are a citizen of U.S. is illegal, but compare moving to a different state, from moving to a different country. The rules and laws would be different, same thing as another country.
I do approve that illegal students paying out-state tuition is wrong. I find it as another way to pay off tuition, easier, because every state has different laws, same for countries. So why can't the law of paying out-state tuition be changed?
Paying for college isn't easy. Especially for being in a community college, it is not easy to pay college bills. Even if one has financial aid, one would have to pay in return. If you have not known, paying for college outside the state costs double for when paying in-state.To pay double for a college out of the state and born here would be unfair. It's part of the law, but for other people to pay less, and born outside of the country is not right. I am friends with many people who are in the povery line. A close friend of mine, Naiyima, had to use Pell Grants. Pell Grants is when the college pays for your tuition, due to the low income tax. The reason why she had to pay Pell Grants is because she cannot afford paying tuition, even though she is going to a cheap CUNY Community College. A huge population of citizens are in the poverty line. As a matter a fact, the number of minorities in the United States is a very huge number.
Some people cannot afford paying tuition, and yet, would do everything in their power to go to college, improve their eductaion, and improve their skills. In this generation, life is becoming more difficult everyday. At the same time, prices rise everyday. For the wealthy I would understand, but what about the working class? The working class works for hours, trying to pay bills. . Especially for me, I am a working class person. I find it very hard to pay bills. I do not work in a job which pays me maximum wage. I wish I could get a job like that, but I clearly know that in reality, it is impossible. Paying out-state tuition when you are a citizen of U.S. is illegal, but compare moving to a different state, from moving to a different country. The rules and laws would be different, same thing as another country.
I do approve that illegal students paying out-state tuition is wrong. I find it as another way to pay off tuition, easier, because every state has different laws, same for countries. So why can't the law of paying out-state tuition be changed?
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